I’d like to thank everyone who has given me strength and courage to continue for this long. I immensely appreciate the encouragement I got to recover, but I’m not so sure it’s worth it anymore. Life no longer gives me joy, and it hasn’t for a long time. At 5’5” 110 lbs I feel defeated and worse than ever. I wish I had succeeded at recovery, I truly wanted to be happy, but I suppose those things aren’t for me.

I love every single one of you. If you have just an ounce of strength, push towards recovery for me.

After it was getting better.

Fuck.

And there’s a boy.

No life.

And I guess that’s what it’s like when I’m fucking obese.

Looked at my fat thighs.

My wide calves.

My chunky stomach.

My face is even decrepit.

I don’t think I’m going out tonight.

Think I might take some pills and get drunk.

If I die; all the better.